Would You Rather Be Right or Happy?
Thanksgiving is just days away. Many of us will reconnect with family and friends, some for the first time in years. I’ll be reconnecting with family I haven’t seen in a while.
For some, these gatherings bring a mixture of emotions: happiness, memories, and sometimes the challenge of navigating different opinions. This year, through my writing and speaking, I’ve been reflecting on something I learned a long time ago: How much does it really matter that others know where I stand?
What if the relationships themselves are more important than making sure everyone knows what I think?
A Lesson from My Mother
When I was younger, I used to get frustrated with my mother’s silence during political discussions in our home. She was a social worker, often hosting people with more liberal mindsets. My father, a former military man who worked for the Department of Defense, tended to lean more conservative. Guests in our home often shared strong opinions on current events, yet my parents rarely chimed in.
I couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t share their beliefs, especially when they disagreed. My mother would always remind me: Relationships are more important than our friends knowing where we stand.
That wisdom finally caught up with me.
A Culture of Opinions, But Little Change
Today, we live in a world where everyone can hardly wait to share their views, often assuming that everyone around them agrees. But even when that’s not the case and a discussion ensues, how often does it truly change someone else’s mind? These are the very things that divide us.
Thanksgiving, though, is an opportunity to undivide. It’s a chance to reconnect, share a tradition, and simply enjoy being in each other’s presence. In our family, that means food, football, and catching up on life.
Compassionate Indifference
Truthfully, most of us are just trying to get through our own struggles. Over the years, I’ve found myself met with grace and indifference in surprising ways—not because I sought it out, but because others were simply indifferent to my struggles, wrapped up in their own.
This indifference wasn’t cold or dismissive. I’ve come to call it compassionate indifference. It’s an acceptance that doesn’t require reaction or response.
This Thanksgiving, ask yourself:
Is it more important to seek to understand or to be understood?
Is being right more important than being happy?
The Freedom of Letting Go
When we let go of the need to attempt to prove a point or win an argument, we create space for connection with family. Ask yourself honestly: When was the last time someone told you, “You’re right, and I was wrong,” at the end of a discussion?
Listening doesn’t mean agreement. It simply means valuing the relationship enough to let the conversation be about connection, not correction.
Compassionate indifference frees us to enjoy being together. It’s not about ignoring our differences, but recognizing that relationships matter more than division—or what divides us.
And sometimes, what divides us isn’t even real. It’s created and fostered by others for their own purposes.
A Thanksgiving About Gratitude
Thanksgiving isn’t about convincing anyone of anything. It’s about gratitude. Gratitude for the people in our lives, for the food on our plates, and for the time we get to spend together.
This year, focus on what really matters. Show your gratitude through kindness, through listening, and through accepting that people are different—and that’s okay.
The world may feel divided. It’s unlikely that it’s as divided as you think, but the Thanksgiving table doesn’t have to reflect that at all.
In our home, being together is far more meaningful than being right.
Wishing you and yours a Thanksgiving filled with love, gratitude, and connection.
Know that you are loved and appreciated.
With gratitude,
Andrea
If these ideas resonate and you’re ready to explore your own growth, let’s connect. Book a call with me to see how we can work together on your development.
